Comments on: Random Parenting Tips or What I Do While at Chick-Fil-A http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118 He'd rather be funny than good! Fri, 29 Jan 2016 20:05:26 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Terri http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118&cpage=1#comment-675 Terri Fri, 08 Oct 2010 00:38:09 +0000 http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118#comment-675 I used to be one of those people who said, "I would never let my kid do that", etc. Guess what? I now have an autistic daughter who has behaved horribly in public many times. I have felt the judgmental stares and heard rude comments from other people. This was especially true when she was younger. She was a very cute little girl (now a very cute 8 year old!) and looked like any other typical preschool age kid. But when she had a major meltdown, it looked like she was behaving like an undisciplined brat. Her behaviors and meltdown triggers aren't always predictable. The types of discipline used on typical kids don't always work. I try to remove her from the situation as quickly as possible, but sometimes I can't immediately leave (e.g waiting to pay a bill at a restaurant). While I agree that many parents today could use some lessons on how to discipline their children, you never know the entire story of a stranger. I used to be one of those people who said, “I would never let my kid do that”, etc. Guess what? I now have an autistic daughter who has behaved horribly in public many times. I have felt the judgmental stares and heard rude comments from other people. This was especially true when she was younger. She was a very cute little girl (now a very cute 8 year old!) and looked like any other typical preschool age kid. But when she had a major meltdown, it looked like she was behaving like an undisciplined brat. Her behaviors and meltdown triggers aren’t always predictable. The types of discipline used on typical kids don’t always work. I try to remove her from the situation as quickly as possible, but sometimes I can’t immediately leave (e.g waiting to pay a bill at a restaurant). While I agree that many parents today could use some lessons on how to discipline their children, you never know the entire story of a stranger.

]]> By: cloften http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118&cpage=1#comment-673 cloften Thu, 07 Oct 2010 15:06:23 +0000 http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118#comment-673 Can I just take the coward's way out and say "it depends?" I am mindful of a legendary story of the infamous 2 yr old version of Maylee Loften deciding that in Wal-Mart (Why is it always Wal-Mart?) that mom was not doing things just so and began to pitch an epic fit. (Legendary, infamous, epic. Gives the story some punch doesn't it?) Heidi, after trying reason, probably a hand-spank, ultimately left a full cart of groceries and took Maylee to the van to "deal with it." I was known from time to time, to swoop a 2 yr old under my arm and go to the car and "deal with it." I have to stop what I'm doing, perhaps excuse myself, likely embarrass myself (further). It is those times when it is the least convenient that some of the worst fits can come. Either they know it and they are deliberately testing you (my theory) or it is an unfortunate coincidence. Whatever your predetermined punishment is for your kids, you need to execute (bad word choice) it right then somehow. I am aware that there are times that circumstances make it where you just can't. When that's the case, you can try and talk to them later, but kids that are young will not connect a 2pm punishment with a 10am offense. Can I just take the coward’s way out and say “it depends?”

I am mindful of a legendary story of the infamous 2 yr old version of Maylee Loften deciding that in Wal-Mart (Why is it always Wal-Mart?) that mom was not doing things just so and began to pitch an epic fit. (Legendary, infamous, epic. Gives the story some punch doesn’t it?) Heidi, after trying reason, probably a hand-spank, ultimately left a full cart of groceries and took Maylee to the van to “deal with it.”

I was known from time to time, to swoop a 2 yr old under my arm and go to the car and “deal with it.” I have to stop what I’m doing, perhaps excuse myself, likely embarrass myself (further). It is those times when it is the least convenient that some of the worst fits can come. Either they know it and they are deliberately testing you (my theory) or it is an unfortunate coincidence.

Whatever your predetermined punishment is for your kids, you need to execute (bad word choice) it right then somehow. I am aware that there are times that circumstances make it where you just can’t. When that’s the case, you can try and talk to them later, but kids that are young will not connect a 2pm punishment with a 10am offense.

]]> By: Megan http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118&cpage=1#comment-672 Megan Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:09:04 +0000 http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118#comment-672 You mention "dealing with it right then," but what does that look like in public? Especially for those young ages that you are talking about? You mention “dealing with it right then,” but what does that look like in public? Especially for those young ages that you are talking about?

]]> By: Russ http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118&cpage=1#comment-671 Russ Wed, 06 Oct 2010 22:05:54 +0000 http://www.cloften.com/?p=1118#comment-671 Charlie, Good post. Boundaries are absolutely necessary and kids will ALWAYS test them. They are trying to find out if we are telling them the truth and determining whether they can trust our word. About the judging other parents comment, we actually made this mistake 10 years ago before we were parents. Whenever Sophie has one of her moments, Kristy and I look at each other and say, "I thought Patty was a good mother." http://kritterkrit.blogspot.com/2007/09/i-thought-patti-was-good-mother.html Charlie,
Good post. Boundaries are absolutely necessary and kids will ALWAYS test them. They are trying to find out if we are telling them the truth and determining whether they can trust our word.

About the judging other parents comment, we actually made this mistake 10 years ago before we were parents. Whenever Sophie has one of her moments, Kristy and I look at each other and say, “I thought Patty was a good mother.”

http://kritterkrit.blogspot.com/2007/09/i-thought-patti-was-good-mother.html

]]>