The Best Action Hero
January 22, 2010 by cloften
Filed under General Insanity, Silliness and Rants
There are two big questions that consistently come up in our staff lunches at Fellowship Cabot. (I promise that we spend a lot of time talking about serious stuff too) The first is who would win in a battle royal of all the staff at Fellowship Little Rock. Dean Stanberry used to have no contenders. Now with the addition of Mark Henry, at least there is now a good debate to have. (Sorry, I usually try to avoid inside jokes)
The second is who would win if all the tv/movie action heroes went after each other. This is now going to become an overly complicated analysis/blog post. First though, I need your help. Who are the contenders?
Let me set up the ground rules. Here is the scenario. All of the great action heroes (they could be villains as well) are asked to eliminate everyone else. Who is the last one standing?
They cannot have superpowers of any kind. We are talking about regular people. Who would win between Yoda and Superman is for another time.
They also cannot have/use unreasonable technology. James Bond can be in. Iron Man is out. I’m on the fence with Batman whether or not he is in, convince me one way or another.
They need to be iconic. I don’t care about that one character in that one movie that no one has ever heard of, but you and your friends think is awesome.
If you find this annoying, I’m sorry. There is serious stuff on the blog for you. Every now and then, especially on my day off, I am going to indulge my pop culture idiocy. Right now I have 3 major contenders in my mind with a few longshots to make it interesting. Who you got?
My vote is Bruce Willis (John Mclane)….. he takes a beating in all of his movies and still comes back for more!
Here it goes:
1. Matt Damon – Jason Bourne – Bourne Trilogy* – great recon, decent fighter
2. Bruce Willis – John McClane – Die Hard Series – seems to never be killed cunning
3. Steven Seagal – Casey Ryback – Under Siege Movies – ex special forces, so can do it all, including explosives
4. Chuck Norris – Cordell Walker – Walker, Texas Ranger – always got his man
5. Sylvester Stallone – John Rambo – Rambo movies – Green Beret, great fighter and shooter
6. Tom Cruise – Ethan Hunt – Mission Impossible Series – more espionage than fighting, so is low on list
7. Charles Bronson – Paul Kersey – Death Wish movies – a very bad man when in close contact
8. Clint Eastwood – Harry Callahan – Dirty Harry movies – classic
9.
I don’t have anything to add to this discussion, but I do have a question about Mark Henry. I think I might know him. Is he an attorney?
Nope. Mark Henry is the new teaching pastor. He looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Batman definitely has no powers. He is just skilled and has awesome ninja capabilities (spelling check)! He should definitely be included!
PS im a big fan of Batman. he is OBVIOUSLY the greatest comic book hero…
I don’t really have strong feelings about this subject, but Macgyver seems like he deserves a mention since he can save the world with a paperclip and some chewing gum. Batman, while really neat, does seem to rely heavily on gadgetry that doesn’t exist. The old, campy James Bond did, too, but the new one doesn’t seem to do so.
David Carradine (spelling?) in the Kung Fu series….
Aragorn–This may be too nerdy. Although, he’s from a fantasy world, he’s just a regular man–a regular man that can battle entire armies.
Jean-Claude Van Damme in Hard Target–Good use of environmental resources (see punched-out snake trap), terrible but powerful mullet, great side kicks, horrible Belgian/cajun accent
The white dude in the American Ninja movies–He’s American and he’s a ninja. That’s a recipe for great prowess and handsome looks.
I second Jason Bourne–he’s like MacGuyver, Rambo, and Jet Li packaged in one extraordinary human. I’m going to have to upgrade Shane’s misguided “decent fighter” appraisal to unstoppable martial warrior. To top it off, he has a sense of morality.
King David–great with a sling, ain’t skeered, can kill bears and lions with his hands, great singer/songwriter, ruddy awesomeness, beautiful name
Um, I can’t believe nobody has mentioned Indiana Jones.
Straight up fist fight Nolan Ryan.
Ted nugent if he gets weapons.