Top 10 Loftens’ Most-Used Movie/TV Quotes

I made a run at something similar to this before, but I didn’t like it, not enough to delete it though.  Once it gets posted, it is written into the record.  Anywho, here is a better list, not that anyone cares.  I take that back, my brother will like this.  So this one’s for you, Brad-o.  (Friend him on FB if you like.  He’ll say yes to just about anyone, especially if you’re friends with me)

One of the defining characteristics of being a Loften is making pop culture references and quoting movies or TV shows in casual conversation.  It’s who we are.  It’s what we do.  I’m afraid, however, that we are in a season, where it has taken an ugly turn.  I try not to be judgmental, and I want to be a relatively cool dad.  However, we are starting to get a lot of random quotes around the house from various pre-teen Disney and Nick shows.  Lauren will say something, and I’ll say, “Where does that come from?”  Way too often the answer is Gibby.  Who is Gibby?  Some character from iCarly, which is the “best” of these shows, which is akin to saying “least annoying mosquito.”  Sometimes it’s Fred.  I can see these coming, because of the annoying voice that accompanies it.  If you don’t know who Fred is, I will do a public service by not telling you.

All that said, taking Gibby, Fred, and the cast of Tru Jackson, VP out of it, these are the best and most used references around the Loften home.

10. “Spongebob! This pencil is broken.” — Patrick Star from the TV show Spongebob Squarepants

This is my only shout-out to stuff that my kids watch, mostly (entirely) because this is the only show they watch worth watching.  Patrick is trying to write a poem and borrows pencil and paper from Spongebob.  Patrick is frustrated that the pencil doesn’t work, because it won’t write any words.  To which Spongebob replies that you have to think of the words yourself.  This is a new, but now common, thing to say around the house when you need a comedic break from your homework.  You take a deep sigh, hold up your pencil and declare that it is broken, because it will not write words.  Homework cannot continue until the Spongebob retort is given.

9. “Faboo” — Wakko Warner from the TV show Animaniacs

If you don’t know who the Animaniacs are, I feel bad for you.  Do you remember when cartoons were funny and clever?  Yeah, I know it’s hard, but try.  This was a show in that genre.  Funny for kids, smart and funny for adults.  It was around in the early to mid-90’s.  Pinky and the Brain were birthed out of that show.  Don’t know them either? Pity.  Wakko Warner was a character patterned somewhat after Harpo Marx (BOOM! uber-dated reference), except that Wakko would talk on occasion, with his own vernacular.  He often shortened words.  Faboo was short for fabulous.  That’s how we use it.  We use it so much that it doesn’t even feel like a pop culture reference anymore.  In fact, I may be the only that knows that it is and where it comes from.

8. “John Coctoasten”  –Fletch from the movie Fletch

Fletch is making up a name to try and convince someone that they knew each other from a while back.  He introduces himself as “John.”  “John, who?” “John Coc…toast..en” is what he replies mumbling, hoping she will make her own connection.  I have had to confess at various times that the Loftens are not very good at remembering people’s names.  (Please Grovers, do not assume that I know your name.  Especially if we met on a Sunday.  I don’t remember anything from Sunday morning.  It’s kind of a crazy day for me.)  So it is not unusual for Heidi and I to try and remember someone’s name.  “I think his name was Mike?  Uh, Mike De…Do…uh…”  To which the always helpful, sarcastic spouse (could be either of us) will reply “Coctoasten?”  Did this to someone not a Loften recently.  The awkward pause and stare made it all worth it.

7. “What’s ‘taters, Precious?” — Gollum from the movie Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers

Being from the South, taters is a common word.  It doesn’t feel like slang.  It’s just a much simpler way to say potatoes.  Isn’t two syllables always better than three?  Save energy, man!  Well apparently, Samwyse Gamgee was from the southern part of the Shire, because he says taters as well.  The Yankee, Gollum, not knowing this word responds with “What’s taters, Precious?”  Then Sam responds with, “Po-tay-toes.  Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew.”  Classic.  This must, must be said any time, anyone, anywhere says taters.  It’s not optional.  Sam’s response is optional, but strongly encouraged.

6. “Tie on the bed, throw the rope out the window” — Chico Marx from the movie Horse Feathers

Come on guys, everyone knows this quote right?  Right?  No one. Fine.  I am pretty sure no one else in our house has even seen this movie.  However, Marx Brothers movies are quite popular with Loften men.  They are hilarious and well-written, you know just like…basically nothing today (You kids get off my lawn!).  Chico and his brother are trapped in an apartment but they have a rope.  He tells his brother, Harpo to “tie on the bed, throw the rope out the window.”  He doesn’t understand.  Chico repeats this over and over.  Finally, Harpo takes his tie off, puts it on the bed and throws the unattached rope out the window.  See?  High comedy.  So this gets used when someone is giving overly complicated directions and someone else just isn’t understanding.  Someone, well, really just me, will scream “Tie on the bed, throw the rope out the window.”  Similarly…

5. “You stay here and make sure he doesn’t leave” — King of Swamp Castle from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The king is trying to get two idiot guards to watch his son and keep him from leaving his room.  He repeats this over and over again.  The two guards just can’t get it.  It’s a hilarious scene.  Probably top 5 funniest scenes from any movie.  This line gets repeated at our house not when the directions are overly-complicated, but when they are incredibly simple, but just not being heard, understood or followed.  (I know what you must be thinking.  With 2 perfect angels in your house, when could that ever happen?  I know.  It’s rare, but it happens)  When someone, read Cloften, says this to his spouse, exasperation has hit its peak.  This is either met with much needed comedic relief or it turns the focus of frustration to the quoter.  It’s a great quote.  Very funny.  Use with caution.

4. “What about second breakfast?” — Merry from the movie The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring

Lord of the Rings is the only entity that gets two entries.  It is from two different installments, but nonirregardless Lord of the Rings clearly is deep into Loften culture.  Our kids are notorious eaters, always have been.  They like food, all kinds of food, in significant quantities.  It is common for them to want to eat at 9 or 10 am, after they have already had breakfast.  Sometimes they will even say, “what’s for breakfast?”  “Haven’t you already had breakfast?”  This is where the Lord of the Rings quotes take over.  This is essentially the same situation Aragorn finds himself in with the Hobbits.  They reply, “We’ve had one breakfast, yes.  But what about second breakfast?”  Second breakfast is now part of our vocabulary.  We don’t have to have second breakfast every day, but it cannot be ignored, if the need arises.

3. “These pretzels are making me thirsty” — Cosmo Kramer from the TV show Seinfeld

Kramer is hired to have a bit part in a movie and this is his only line.  He practices saying it in front of the gang and everyone critiques it and says it their own way.  Now at the Loften house, if someone says something of the same cadence, for example, “This shirt is making me hot,” someone will, not may, will respond back with “these pretzels are making me thirsty.”  At that point, everyone has to repeat the phrase back with their own inflection.  Last, almost always, read always always, is Mom.  Sometimes she has to rebuked by one of her daughters, “(clearing throat loudly) Mom!”  “Oh, sorry.  These pretzels are making me thirsty.” Again, as with many of these quotes, our girls have never seen this on TV.  It doesn’t matter.  This is what we do.  They play along, no problem.  They love it.  I pity their therapist when they are older.

2. “Other options?” — William Wallace from the movie Braveheart

William Wallace has returned from York to discover that the English have invaded and sent a huge army.  He is trying to rally the nobles where they have this interchange. One of the nobles believes that the English are too many and it is time to consider other options.  To which Wallace replies, “Other options? Don’t you wish at least to lead your men onto the field and barter a better deal with Longshanks before you tuck tail and run?  You are not allowed to utter the words “other options” without doing it in Scottish accent.  Sometimes our Scottish accents devolve into British, Irish, Australian, Italian, Norwegian (?).  It’s the effort that matters here.  If you do forget to at least give the Scottish accent effort, someone must and will point it out.  You then correct yourself.  There are no exceptions.  None.

1. “You serious, Clark?” — Cousin Eddie from the movie Christmas Vacation

Clark Griswold is trying to get the kids excited about Christmas and gives a report that he heard that Santa’s sleigh has been spotted.  To which Cousin Eddie in all seriousness replies, “You serious, Clark?”  Let’s just agree right now, that Cousin Eddie is top 3 funniest minor characters in a movie comedy, ever.  I would just say number one, but I don’t want to just pop off like that. Hmmm. The Black Knight (Holy Grail) ?  Carl Spackler (Caddyshack)?  Nevermind.  The uses for this quote are abundant.  If someone says something serious, if someone says something ridiculous, if someone misspeaks and says something ridiculous, the list is almost endless.  Typically, Heidi or I will add, “Get yourself something, real nice.”  This is another quote from Eddie in another scene.  It is completely out of context, but sometimes you just feel compelled to go on an Eddie quoting streak.  “This here’s a quality item.  If you don’t mind me asking, what’d she set you back?” “She falls down a well, her eyes cross.  Kicked by a mule, they go back.” “Got the girl in the clinic getting cured off the wild turkey.”  “It’s the gift that keeps on giving.” CLOFTEN, wake up!

Sorry, I got into a Cousin Eddie-induced trance.

Stuff I Learned After 3 Weeks of Nothing

I have some serious blog posts in my head, and they will come later this week.  However, to attempt that would be like not exercising for a month and then running a marathon.  (See, that analogy is terrible.  I cannot be held responsible for the quality of this blog post).  So, in order to stretch the writing, thinking, doing stuff muscles, I will start with something that I’m labelling as rambling, and thus it would be impossible to be disappointed.

In no particular order:

1. Back episodes of LOST are perhaps even better watching them again after you know the ending.  Netflix recently began streaming movies through the Wii, which is great for me now, and will be problematic starting August 1st.  The movie selections for what you can stream aren’t great, but they have a ton of TV shows, and I have been cranking out LOST episodes like a loser sitting in his recliner with nothing to do (Wait, nevermind).  I have to take back what I have said for a couple of years, which is that the creators didn’t know how it was going to end when they started.  They clearly did.  It is hard to find any inconsistencies, plenty of mysteries to be sure, but not inconsistencies.  They clearly had to make some adjustments.  It’s hard to involve a boy that gets older every year, while the timeline of the show is not moving that quickly, for example.  I will post some lingering questions when I’m finished.  (I’m too embarassed right now to share with you how close I am after just under three weeks)  Too start, here is the biggest:

Seriously, what was the deal with Nikki and Paulo and why should I care?

2.  My girls are seriously interested in anything that I am. The current example is their interest in LOST.  Most kids don’t care what “we” are doing as long as “we” are doing it.  (You knew at points in the ramblings, this would get preachy)  Just do something with your kids, together, they will love it.

3.  I associate blogging and social networking with work.  Both of those things are a lot of fun to me but when I shut the brain off from work, I essentially shut those off as well.  I have still gotten on FB and Twitter some, typically one post a day, Conan O’Brien style.  I have not blogged in a long time.  I love it, but it felt/feels like work.  In fact, I am 3 movie reviews behind. 

4.  I feel pressure that my kids make a good impression in their favorite sport when we move.  Maylee loves basketball and wants to play for her school some day, same for Lauren and soccer.  It’s hard though when no one knows you to “get in” to a sport in a new town.  So we have been doing drills in the morning and then running sprints.  (Yes, I run the sprints with them.  Leave me alone.  I have not completely atrophied)  Maylee has started shooting a basketball the right way and Lauren complained about her quad hurting from all the “hop and loads” she has been doing, so success.  If you would like an opportunity to beat our records at the dribbling, bball or soccer, obstacle course, let us know.

5.  The pressure that comes from not selling your house is a lot easier when you are not at that house.  We have gone to Mt. Home, Branson, Fayetteville, and Lake of the Ozarks in the last few weeks.  (I never tweet about trips as they are happening any more.  You know that urban legend about someone robbing you because they read you were out of town on Facebook?  Yeah, it happened to someone I know that lives less than a mile from me.  They stole his kidney too.  Ok, I made up the last part) So, we are out of town and loving life, and not too worried about the house, but we start making the drive and we see the house and something clicks.  It’s like Debbie Downer lives there.  Further thoughts on the house still being unsold later this week.

6.  I really am looking forward to being in Fayetteville at the Grove.  I will probably list this out this week too, but I am excited about the people, the area and the vision that God is calling us to.  See you guys again soon!

It’s good to back with you all, more to come this week including movie reviews including: why I still don’t like Tom Cruise or Cameron Diaz and perhaps the best Pixar movie ever.

A-Team Movie Review

Went to see A-Team yesterday.  I wasn’t planning on seeing it but Heidi was out with the girls and some of their friends and there was a showing on the house.  I was going to see Shutter Island at the dollar theater, but it must have ended on Thursday.  Anywho,  A-Team stars Qui-Gon/Oskar Schindler/Rob Roy/Aslan as Hannibal, that scary MMA guy, no the other one, as B.A. Baracus/Mr. T., that dude that I know from Alias, but some of you know from the Hangover as Face, and some dude that they grabbed off the street as Murdoch.  It also has that girl from 7th Heaven who is now famous for being famous as the stereotypical wet-blanket female lead in an action movie and Rick Simon from Simon and Simon (Boom! Dated reference).

Expectations: My expectations were pretty low.  I loved the A-Team growing up and Hollywood does not have a great track record of remaking 80’s classics.  On the other hand, it has Liam Neeson which means there is a 99% chance that the movie will be great (I would have said 100, but I recently saw Clash of the Titans).  So, all put together I’m thinking better than G.I. Joe, probably about as good as Scooby Doo.

Reality: Dude.  No really, DUDE! I could not have been more wrong.  That movie was incredible.  Perhaps it was because my expectations were so low, but a few hours later I looked at Heidi and said, “I can’t get over how good that was.”  Heidi, as always, humors me.  The action sequences were very good.  They took what made the TV show great and brought it to the big screen very well.  The four main characters were cast very well.  Liam Neeson is, of course, amazing.  Bradley Cooper did well as Face.  Rampage Jackson did a great job of being a scary B.A. without jacking Mr. T’s style.  That dude that was Murdoch was hilarious.  He may have launched a career, but it would be hard for me to imagine him as a non-insane character.  It’s essentially their back story, which sets us up, I hope for some sequels.  I cannot recommend this movie enough, if you like fun action movies.

Appropriateness: In contrast to the TV show, there is some language.  There are no F-bombs and there is not a lot of it, but there is some language.  Also, in contrast to the show, people do actually get hit by the large quantities of bullets that get shot.  Obviously, there is some violence but nothing particulary gory.  I would take my teenager to it.  Well not mine.  First I don’t have one, and the one that almost is one does not like action movies.

Rating: (Here is the system)

See it in the theater and will definitely own

See it in the theater and might own

See it in the theater and will likely rent it

See it in the theater and be done

See it at the dollar theater

Rent it

Avoid it.

I rate it a see it in the theater and will definitely own it.  Anybody want to go see it again?  Seriously.

I’m Begging You, Say Something Meaningful (A Brief Political Rant)

I know that I have said many times that I don’t like to get into a lot of politics.  It’s not that I shy away from controversial things, it’s just that what the Bible says is controversial enough.  I certainly don’t want anyone to think that my public endorsement of a candidate or party represents the church, or certainly not God.  I know that seems spineless to you activists out there.  If you say something ugly on the comments, I might turn the why of those comments into a full blown blog post.

On the other hand, I am a political junkie.  I have a handful of web sites that I check regularly that are all over the spectrum.  I cross pollinate that with some talk radio and poltical TV that crosses the spectrum as well.  If you looked at what I watch, read, listen to, etc. you still couldn’t guess my affiliation, if there is one.  However, I know that you can guess my poltical affiliation.  I agree with you, because don’t all reasonable, good-hearted, intellectual people agree with you? (Wow, I have already ranted 150+ words and haven’t even gotten to the topic)

I am fed up with the poltical rhetoric.  I hope that we get a small reprieve between now and the campaign this Fall.  People running for office will say some of the stupidest, vaccuous things.  Then we cheer like crazy people as if they have said something valuable.  An example:

Washington is broken.  It is time to tell Washington that the government serves the people.  Lobbyists, Washington insiders and the special interests have taken over.  Now is the time for the people to tell all of them that this is our country.  We have to put petty partisan politics aside.  I will reach across the aisle and set aside partisan bickering to do what is best for the American people.  Let’s send a message to Washington and the special interests that “we the people” are taking our government back.

You know who says that?  Everybody.  That was actually a pretty good political commercial that I wrote there in about 45 seconds (the time it took to type it).  Arent you inspired?  Aren’t you ready to vote for me? 

Does it really matter what my party affiliation is?  Does it matter how I will vote?  No, it doesn’t, because we are taking back Washington from the special inter…blah blah blah, shut up.  I would love to just rant about how politicians should stop talking in empty sound bites, but do you know why they talk that way?  Because people want to hear that.  We let them get away with it. 

Here’s something crazy.  Let’s evaluate candidates based on what they believe and how they will vote, rather than whether or not they say they are going to “stand up to the special interests.”  (Psst.  Let me tell you a secret.  Everything is a special interest.  Every cluster of people or individual has interests that are unique, read special, to them.  When a politician says he is going to stand up to special interests, they mean the people that have interests with which they disagree.  Meanwhile, truckloads of money of the groups that are eSPECIALly INTERESTed in their views will find their way to the campaign.) 

There are certain values that you have.  There are certain issues that are important to you.  Find out which candidate is most closely aligned to those values and vote appropriately.

If not, Big Business, Big Tobacco, Big Pharmaceuticals, Big Momma’s House, Big Lots, Wall Street, Sesame Street, Special Interests, .38 Special will win.  Then who will fix Washington?

(Thanks, I feel better now)

Robin Hood Movie Review

Just got finished watching Robin Hood.  I meant to see it last week and then yesterday and finally got to it today.  I did the very lame (to some) thing of going to see a movie by myself.  Sometimes I just love that.  Anywho,  Robin Hood starts Maximus as the lead and reunite the Gladiator with the director of Gladiator.  It also stars Galadriel (the kinda scary Elf queen witch lady) from Lord of the Rings as Lady Marion, the priest from the Exorcist as Sir Walter Loxley, and reunites Col. Striker and the Blob from X-Men Origins: Wolverine as King Richard and Little John.  I could do this all day.  It had a lot of people in it that make you go, “wait a second, how do I know them?”

Expectations:  How could my expectations be higher?  Perhaps my expectations for the Hobbit will be higher.  I think my expectationsfor Star Wars: Phantom Menace were higher.  Suffice to say, reuiniting Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe in an heroic epic with swords had me through the roof.  I tried to temper my expectations, but they would not be tempered.

Reality: No movie, I mean no movie, can live up to these expectations.  So, I try to be gracious.  That said, I was surprised if not a little disappointed.  I was expecting more epic battle sequences and creative ways of taking people out with a bow and arrow.  What I got was a story with a plot.  This was a prequel story to how Robin Hood became Robin Hood.  I wish Heidi had been there.  I know she would have liked a plot-driven movie and thus I would have enjoyed it more.  All that said, I really enjoyed it.  The story was good, the action sequences were good.  Russell Crowe, as always, was unbelievable.

Appropriateness: In contrast to Gladiator or Braveheart, this was PG-13, so the battle sequences and kills were significantly less bloody and scary.  There was a lot, I mean a lot, of sexual innuendo, but you don’t see anything.  With the British accents, which I have a hard time understanding, there may have been even more than I noticed.  If I had a teenage son, I might let him see it.  That all depends on what you’re comfortable with.

Rating: (Here is the system)

See it in the theater and will definitely own

See it in the theater and might own

See it in the theater and will likely rent it

See it in the theater and be done

See it at the dollar theater

Rent it

Avoid it.

I rate it a see it in the theater and maybe own it.  It depends on how my typical 48 hour rumination on the movie goes.

More About LOST or “Artists and Literature Guys Skewer a Math Major”

This is a continuation of yesterday’s LOST discussion, see here. I like starting new posts rather than making one post with a lot of comments.  (But that’s just me)

So I am minding my own business on yesterday’s LOST post and then someone quotes Faulkner to me.  I am now hearing from artists and literature guys.  Where are the other math majors?  They probably gave up on LOST years ago.

Here is what I want from a show like LOST or movies that delve into the supernatural–a cohesive worldview.  All of my nitpicky questions are part of an overall picture of what is the worldview. 

What are they wanting to say when it seems Michael is in worse shape with “God” for killing two innocent people out of desperation to save his son than Ben who slaughtered the entire Dharma Project and many more people?  As far as Mr. Eko and Walt go.  There are ways to make that work.  Film Eko on a green screen wherever he is.  Use clips from Walt from the early seasons.  Make him an adult.  Try harder.  That’s all I’m saying. 

We’ve also yet to dive into what Jack’s dad says.  You guys “created this place” to find each other.  Created this place?  What do you guys think that means?

BTW, I scrutinize time travel movies way more than this.  We can hammer that out another day.

LOST Questions, or “I wish I weren’t overly analytical”

My desire today was to blog about something of some consequence.  However, I think that it will take a mental purging of my internal crankiness about LOST to even get me to the point where I can.

Let’s say, first of all, that I never believed that LOST would answer all of my questions.  I hoped, but I never believed.  Second, don’t fill up the comments here with the basics.  I get the basic timeline:

People’s lives intertwine

People get on plane

Plane crashes

Hijinks ensue

They ultimately all die

They go to purgatoryish place and reconnect

They go to LOST heaven led by Dad.

Third, I understand that this was mostly a show about personal redemption and relationships, so spare me the “you missed the point” comments.  All that said, the nerd in me needs some answers.  So, if you would like you may contribute answers here.  You can put them in a comment or you if you are also overly-analytical and verbose and put something long and interesting together, I will post it here as a blog post (email me at charlie @ cloften.com ).

In no particular order:

What didn’t Walt and Michael get included in LOST purgatory and heaven?  For heavens sake, Boone is there.  Boone?   A case could also be made for Anna Lucia.  She showed up in purgatory.  Maybe she has more work to do.  I could go on here.  I’d find a way to get Lapidus and Richard in as well.  Not crash survivors you say?  What about Desmond and Penny?  OK, I’m done.

Who made the island and for what purpose?  What is the gold light thing?  Aren’t the answers we need really the bigger picture metaphysical questions?  For real, right?  No? Just me?  Fine.

Who put the crazy lady who killed Jacob’s mom in charge?  Then who put them in charge all the way back to the creator, I guess.

With Locke/Smokie/Esau dead, would anything have happened (big picture) if the island had gone down?

Is anybody else wishing they would make a buddy comedy following the wacky antics of Hurly, Ben and Vincent as they try to figure out how to run the island and work together?  You know, Perfect Strangers meets Gilligans Island.

That’s enough for now.  Maybe no one is going to comment and I just got a good rant out.  If not, we could keep this convo going a while.

My guess is that 24 will end a little cleaner.  Jack will kill everyone.  We will be left to think Jack may be dead, but he will survive for the movie.

Iron Man 2 Movie Review

I saw Iron Man 2 opening day with my brother.  I know that it has been a couple of weeks since then and this is a little stale, but I briefly lost my blogging mojo due to external circumstances.  Iron Man returns Sherlock Holmes as the lead and the big girl from Shallow Hal as Pepper Potts.  Introducing that really famous girl that really hasn’t done much but still manages to be famous as Natalie, that famous actor from the 80’s who revitalized his career by being crazy as the bad guy Ivan, and Wild Bill from Green Mile as Tony Stark’s rival.  Also, inexplicably replacing that dude from Crash as Rhodey is Basher from Ocean’s 11.

Expectations:  I initially had very high expectations for Iron Man 2 because I loved the first one so much.  As I was driving to the theater, I was thinking, “Dude, there is no way this is going to be Dark Knight.  So settle down.”  On the other hand, didn’t it have to be better than Batman Returns and Fantastic Four: Silver Surfer?  By the time I got there, I was thinking Spiderman II, good not great.

Reality: It was much, much better than Spiderman II but of course, no Dark Knight.  Robert Downey was incredible again. Mickey Rourke, who I suspect might not have been acting, was great as a crazy villain.  Scarlett Johannsen (not going to check spelling so leave it alone) and Gwenyth Paltrow (again) were not as wet-blankety as sometimes the female leads can be in hero movies.  There was great action and a plot that was not as convoluted as most superhero sequels can be.  Great blend of humor and action.  Did I mention that I saw it on the Imax?  Everything is cooler on Imax.  (Sidenote: now that my wife is hooked on the sparkly vampire books, do you think that they could please make one of these movies for Imax and/or 3D? That would really help me out.  Thx.)

Appropriateness:  Superhero violence that never is too bad.  It’s mostly beating up robots, but there is some blodd ‘n stuff.  Tony Stark’s character is still a cad, and so there is much innuendo, bikini ladies, etc.  My nine year old who loves superhero movies will not be allowed to see it yet.  She is still mad at me that I haven’t let her see the first one.  Of all the superhero franchises, this is the least kid friendly, IMNSHO (In my not so humble opinion)

Rating: (Here is the system)

See it in the theater and will definitely own

See it in the theater and might own

See it in the theater and will likely rent it

See it in the theater and be done

See it at the dollar theater

Rent it

Avoid it.

I rate it a see it in the theater and definitely own it.

Diary of a Soul Inflicted with March Madness #2

The Appeal of the Underdog.

Thursday, March 18th, 2:15 pm–I pick Villanova to go to the Final Four in what is considered my “official bracket.”  I enter different brackets in different contests.  So, why was I rooting for Robert Morris?  Why? Because it is so cool watching these little, out of nowhere school beat the “elite” teams.

You might think that this is about to make a hard left turn and I’m going to talk about David and Goliath.  Maybe that they inspire us to believe that we can do anything.  “Anything is possible if you believe.”  Uh, no.  I am officially on vacation and it is unlikely that you will get anything on cloften.com this week that you would call “significant content.”  (I know, I know.  How is that different?  I get it.)

I just don’t like the big teams from the big schools.  If you have ever won a championship, we don’t want you to win.  Not one game.  Go home.  The best part of the underdog win?  When the scrubby bench players lock arms on the bench during the freethrows and sway back and forth.  Do coaches recruit some players based on their ability to execute that well?

It’s hard to have too much animosity for Villanova, per se.  It’s not like it is Kansas, Duke or Kentucky.  Nonetheless, Robert Morris is a cool team to root for.  What is their mascot? TheCats? (dated reference) Scholars?  Is Robert Morris a cigarette brand? Did he sign the Declaration of Independence?  Is he the first architect to use the flying buttress?  I could look it up, but I don’t care.  It’s just cool.

I would like to formally apologize to the Robert Morris fan(s?) out there for writing this post too soon and jinxing it.  If it makes you feel any better, my final four picks are still in tact.

Diary of a Soul Inflicted with March Madness #1

This series (?) of posts will be what Simon would call indulgent nonsense.  Indulgent–only I care about what I’m writing.  Nonsense–just keep reading.

Thursday, March 18th, 9:30 am–For the 20th year, my brother and I are about to watch the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tourney together.  It is (almost) always the first weekend of the tourney.  Exceptions have been when we would have tickets to see games that were the second weekend, or once, wait for it, the Final Four itself.  Yes, I was there when Roy Williams broke his jinx and cut down the net for the first time in St. Louis.  In fact, Roy Williams coached teams are 6-0 in the tourney when I watch him live.  Twice w/ Kansas in STL, twice w/ UNC in STL and twice w/ UNC in Memphis.  Roy, if you’re listening and you ever make it back to the tourney again (hee hee) call me, I am available to be flown into your games and torturously watch you win.

Anywho, my brother and I have been doing this for quite a while and we love it.  We have several mini-traditions, IBC root beer, making fun of commercials, etc.

For me the most exciting part of the tourney is the anticipation leading up to it.  Right now my bracket is perfect.  By 2:00 it will destroyed and hope will have abandoned my house yet again.  My problem in the past is that I pick often what I want to happen.  I pick the Razorbacks to advance one round further than they do.  (Do you guys remember when the Razorbacks used to go to the tournament?  Those were great days.  UAPB over Duke!!!!!)  I pick teams I hate to get upset early.  It never happens and it is the double whammy.  Teams I hate win and my bracket is terrible.

This year I am hedging my bets.  (Not literal bets.  Settle down people).  I am picking teams I hate.  This way, either my bracket will do well or Kentucky, Duke and Kansas won’t.  I’m sure there is 3rd option out there somewhere.  We’ll see.  I’ll keep you (and by you I mean me and my mom.  Anyone else even still reading this?) updated.

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