Unravelling the Mystery of Billy Ocean and McDonalds

August 30, 2011 by cloften  
Filed under General Insanity, Silliness and Rants

Sitting here with a little “live” blogging from McDonalds, which is funny because I have a meeting at Chick-Fil-A in an hour.  I hope I have enough time.  “Why? Why are you doing this?”  It is time to report on the great mystery that is Loverboy by Billy Ocean and the music list at the McDonalds on College in Fayetteville.  Not tomorrow, not next week, now is the time.

As I sat down, “He’s Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon was playing.  That’s perfect, because that is Number 1 on the playlist.  Yes, I have the whole playlist, and whether it makes me late to my meeting or not, I/we will sit here and make it through the whole list once.  It’s not that long, I probably won’t be late.  It’s just Miller and Gonzo anyway (staff guys).

YES! Number 2 is the song that started it all–“Loverboy” by Billy Ocean.  That “yes” was feigned surprise.  I knew it was next.  It’s next on the spreadsheet.  There is no randomness to this list.  It is the same every time.  I mean every time.  Does anyone else here even know? Does anyone else even care?

Number 3–“Falling in Love Again” by Eagle Eye Cherry.  I wonder how long it would have taken me to put this all together without being able to Google lyrics and the always handy Shazam app?  It took me a couple of visits and a handful rotations anyway, because of the number 8 mash-up, which I will explain in just a few minutes.  Without them I would have definitely needed my brother as I tried to write down as many of the lyrics as possible and tried to remember the tune.  Perhaps, I would have brought in a tape player (Boom! Dated reference!) and recorded it and played it for as many people as I could.  That’s old school cool, baby.

Number 4“I Knew I Loved You” by Savage Garden. We are almost halfway there, and I feel compelled to explain what’s going on here for those that don’t track with my FB/Twitter posts on Sunday morning.

Every Sunday morning before church, I come to McDonalds on College, have a little breakfast and go over my sermon one more time.  The first week (after it reopened, I was going to the one on Joyce before that) I heard Loverboy by Billy Ocean.  I posted about it, because it seemed funny to me.  The next week I hear it again.  “What a coincidence!”  I posted about that as well.  Week number 3 and I hear it again, and I begin to understand that there is something foul at work here, not mere coincidence.  Wait…hold on…

Number 5Don’t Hold Me Down by Colbie Callet (I like her.)

Anywho, I begin to realize that there are some other, less memorable songs that I seem to hear every week as well.  So I make a decision, as only someone infected with just a little OCD would, to come here one morning during the week when doing some computer work/study to sit in the corner and carefully listen to a couple of rotations.  What a day that was.  I wonder how many people noticed the idiot in the corner, who occasionally would stand up and try to stand right under a speaker, looking like a goob.  You see, their fancy drink maker that crushes the ice is very loud.  Also, people in the restaurant, not realizing that Science was happening would be talking.  Wait, here we go…

Number 6 “I Want to Get Lost in Your Rock n Roll” by Bob Seger.  (*Added later.  Apparently, this is wrong.  Sometimes you can’t trust Google.  The song is “Drift Away” by Dobie Gray.  My bad.  Thanks guys for sharing some of your OCD with me.) Some of you are very disappointed in me right now.  You think if any song should have stuck in my head it should have been this one.  Sorry, but Billy Ocean stands out much more.  Don’t judge me.

Ok, so people are talking, ice is crushing and I’m wandering around like a goob, trying to hear, hoping that Shazam can hear, which often it can’t, and I start compiling the list.  Number 8 continues to allude me.  I will have to come back another more quiet time.  This wouldn’t be a problem, because, you know, I’m here every Sunday.  I will win.

Number 7“It’s Only Love” by Bryan Adams

Sidenote: Does any else even notice this?  Are the employees here slowly going insane?  They seem perfectly normal and nice.  I keep an eye on them and they seem fine. No noticeable changes week to week.  Maybe they can’t hear it.  One of the guys who cleans the dining room is over the top friendly.  I like him.  Maybe he’s hearing it?  Who knows?

What about the other customers?  Is anyone here long enough to notice it? Are people here with enough frequency?  Of course, it’s McDonalds.  The same people drink coffee here every day I’m sure.  That’s why McDonalds exists–Senior Coffee, well and addictive fries and Disney prizes in kid’s meals.

The infamous Number 8 mash-up--“A Moment Changes Everything” by David Gray.  Why mash-up?  Well, because you only here the first half of this song before it cuts off.

Sidenote: It’s disorienting to watch CNN with no sound and closed-captioning.  The pictures don’t match the words.

Then when it cuts off, the second half of Number 8 mash-up“Already Home” by Marc Cohn plays.  You hear the first half of Gray and the second half of Cohn.

My theory is this, wherever this recording of songs originates, there is a scratch, glitch, something in the recording.  There are in fact supposed to be a large number of songs, but it skips from the middle of song 8 to, say the middle of song 35 or something like that.

And we are back to Number 1“He’s Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon.  Less than 30 minutes and we’ve heard them all.

So what are some potential action steps?  I could mention it to a manager.  But why would I do that?  They might would fix it and then where would I be?  I’m convinced that I can’t preach if I don’t here Billy Ocean.

I could when I order say, “If I can predict the next song, will you give me my order for free?”  I’ll keep you posted.


5 Responses to “Unravelling the Mystery of Billy Ocean and McDonalds”
  1. Carolyn Loften says:

    As one who is married to a Senior Citizen locked at the hip to McDonald’s. I believe that we would notice the same song being played. Having said that I believe, Pastor you did look like a goober with your frantic actions trying to look casual.

    Remember don’t give them your correct name when investigated.

  2. Cass says:

    Sorry I have to do this but allow me to be “that guy” for a moment. “I wanna get lost in your rock n roll” is actually called “Drift Away”. And unless he did it live, Bob Seger never recorded that song. Many have covered it but you have probably been hearing Dobie Gray’s version which is the most popular.
    It’s a common mistake. Many people think it’s Seger, just like many people think Jim Morrison sang “House of the Rising Sun”, or that Jason Miller was in all the Harry Potter movies.

    I’m done. Again, I’m sorry. But, in my defense, I am responding to a post about a rogue McDonald’s playlist and the man’s brain it corrupted. I mean, I’ve never known anyone who’s obsessed over Billy Ocean nor do I know of any adult who frequents a McDonalds without small children as much as you. OK I guess I wasn’t done. Now I am.

  3. brado says:

    Cass beat me to it in correcting your Bob Seger song. Don’t forget that “It’s Only Love” was credited as a duet with Tina Turner. Anyone else think Colbie Callet looks like Jennifer Aniston? You’re going to have to enlighten me on a mash-up…is it anyting like the Stars on 45 Medley?

  4. cloften says:

    My mistake has been noted in the post, but the error still there for all to share in my ignorance. Thanks Cass and Brad-o for sharing a little of your OCD to go with mine.

    And yes, a mash-up is like a medley of different songs.

  5. Charris says:

    I do think it would be hilarious to demand for something free if you predict the next song. Start small then work your way up to free breakfast chicken sandwhiches for a year.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!