Waiting on the World to Change

I know that this is going to be sacrilegious for many of you, but I’m not a huge John Mayer fan. So much so, I had to check to see how his name was spelled. I’m not a hater. I would just say that I’m solidly in the neutral camp. If a song of his comes on, I’ll check other stations to see if there is a better song, but I don’t turn off the radio or switch to NPR or anything. Aren’t most John Mayer fans listening to NPR already? Is that an insult? I’m confusing myself.

There’s one John Mayer song in particular that I’m a little confused by–Waiting on the World to Change. Am I supposed to be inspired by that song? Is that a comforting song? A rallying cry? I don’t want to get labelled a hater for all you Mayer fans drinking lattes reading this. (is that an insult?) However, I find those lyrics uninspiring and a bit of a cop out.

I get the basic idea that “we” are not in charge of the government, so in some areas “we” are helpless. “We” can’t bring the soldiers back from war. Therefore, we wait. For what? Duh, the world to change. How does that happen? Waiting? I would like to suggest not.

I have a friend (really?) whom you should follow on the twitters. His name is Aaron Reddin. His twitter handle? Id? Username? is homelessheretic. Here is a guy when you get to know him thinks the world needs to change. He will tell you so in vivid language. He thinks the “fight ain’t fair.” He thinks the deck is stacked against the homeless and people should care more. He laments the government and the local church for not doing more.

He is not waiting on the world to change. He is changing the world, one person at a time. He is ministering to people, loving people and mobilizing more to help him. He is doing something and making a huge difference. He even has a van. You may be thinking, so what my grandpa has a van? Seriously, check him out. AaronReddin.com and find out about what he’s doing with that van to serve people.

We need so much more of that. I would rather have 100 people skeptical of the govt and organized church that are making a difference in the world, than 1000 nice people sitting in church waiting and wondering when the govt or the church (whoever that is) to do something about what they care about.

Questions: what are you passionate about? What people or need in the world has God put on your heart?
What are you doing about it? Are you waiting for the world to change? Or are you changing the world?

Coincidentally, we will be talking about this at church the next couple of weeks, but you don’t have to wait for that.

Independence, Security and Choir Camp

We just recently got back from choir camp. Who is we? Not me, exactly. Maylee, my oldest who is 13, went to choir camp for a week and got back on Saturday. We all went to pick her up, so technically we did all get back from choir camp.  She had a great time.  The choirs and ensembles that she was a part of did very well, and as always, we are very proud of her.

She had been to camp before, but it always had been a Christian sports/outdoors type of camps.  This was different.  There are some obvious differences between a Christian and a (gasp) secular camp.  We could talk about those differences and the small shocks to the system that come from that, but not today.

The biggest shock to the system came in the arena of free time.  Free time at Camp War Eagle or Kannakuk was still pretty structured.  There were always counselors around, specific options to choose from and a giant border around the camp.  At choir camp though, they sometimes would be done at 4 and just be released.  “You need to be back in this room at 6:30.”  When/if/where she ate was totally up to her.  She could order pizza, go to the student center and pay, or eat for free in the cafeteria, or not eat at all (though that is not how Loftens roll).  Theoretically she could have walked off campus and eaten anywhere in Conway.  She could have called a taxi and had it take her to Little Rock.  (Do you think a taxi would pick up a 13 yr old girl who said take me to Cheeburger Cheeburger in LR?  I don’t want to think about it.)

Since Maylee was 6 months old, she has had her own plan.  Her plan was always better than your plan.  She doesn’t need your plan, help or opinions.  Now at 13, she clamors for more independence and freedom.  So you would think the kind of independence and freedom she experienced at Choir Camp would be a highlight.  Honestly, it overwhelmed her.  Given exactly what she has felt she has wanted for almost her whole life, she was nervous and called her mom.

Why?  This could be analyzed a whole lot of different ways.  I’ll pretend that there is only one.  It keeps the blog posts shorter.  For a kid, structure is safety.  Structure is security.  With freedom comes responsibility.  Responsibility that she’s not sure she’s ready for when she has it (though she is convinced she is ready when she doesn’t have it).

Mom talked to her, assured her that we trust her, she is responsible, etc. and she did great.  There was never any doubt that she would.

Where you going with this?

1)  The clamor for independence is not the same as being ready for it or even wanting it.

2)  If a mature 13 yr old girls gets nervous when suddenly she has total freedom, how do you think a 5 yr old reacts when we give him independence that he’s not ready for?

3) Some kids are stressed out, not because they have too many rules, but too few.

4) Choir camp concerts should not be 2 hours long. (Wait that was something else.)

How Do You Think I’m Doing as a Parent?

If there is a list of questions we would never ask anyone, this would have to be near the top.  I’m not talking about the list of questions we shouldn’t ask like, “Would you like to see my toe warts?”  This is a question that we would never want to ask.

You see, I preached a sermon yesterday on parenting.  I’ll have to admit I was quite nervous all week leading up to it and was especially nervous giving said sermon.  Why? My perception, right or wrong, is that people don’t want you to meddle in that area.  We desperately want others to believe that we are great parents and have great kids.  We certainly don’t want anyone telling us that we don’t.

However, is there anything more important that we do than raise our children?  We are shaping the lives of small children, instilling values, pointing (or not pointing) them to God, learn right from wrong, building their self-image, setting the foundation for the rest of their lives, etc.  If it is this overwhelmingly important, why would we not want help or feedback?  (Was that rhetorical?) Because we don’t want anyone to think that we are failing, because it is that important.

Let’s imagine a world where you would ask that question to somebody.  Try again.  Let’s imagine a world where you would ask that question and want an honest answer. (I’m not talking about so-called questions like, “Do you think my baby is cute?” or “Does this dress make me look fat?”  Imagine a world where those questions are asked honestly.  Actually, let’s not.  Carry on.)  You go to a great friend, sibling, parent, someone who knows you well and ask,

“Do you see any areas where I could improve as a parent?”

“Do you think I’m too tough on them?”

“Do you think I’m too passive?”

“Would you consider my kids well-mannered and behaved?”

“Do they seem confident? fearful?”

There’s a line my wife and I throw around, “We would rather people think we have great kids, and we know better, than we think we have great kids and everyone else knows better.”  What?  We want to have kids that are polite and confident and good to be around, but we know that they have challenges and we are working on them.  We don’t want to think we have great, fun, spunky amazing kids and secretly our friends are trying to get out of having to hang out with us.

It is highly unlikely that you are failing as a parent.  You’re loving them right? You are trying to teach them right and wrong?  You are most likely doing ok.  But what if by asking a few questions, you could be doing better?  What if there were some small adjustments that you could make to improve?  Wouldn’t you want to make them?  Ask someone.  Ask your spouse.  Ask yourself.  Pray and ask God.

This is incredibly important.  That’s why I talk about it all the time.  I’m constantly evaluating myself.  I want to get better.  That’s why I blog about it as well.  You think I’m a great blogger, don’t you?  Please feel free to comment openly and honestly about that.  Say all the amazing things about me that you want.

Understanding the Bible #2–What Am I Looking For?

I was not good in high school English.  Before you start evaluating the grammar of that first sentence, let me tell you what I mean.  I was not a good person in English.  I did well, but I was not good.  I didn’t get it.  I didn’t like it and that may or may not have caused me to have a bad attitude.  The story that 17 yr old Cloften would have told you is that all English teachers were out to get him.  I’m not sure what he would have said to why, but I’m sure it would have been creative.

Thirty-nine soon to be thirty-ten year old Cloften would tell you that the 17 yr old was an obnoxious punk who didn’t like the class or the assignments, resented being in there and only wanted to get an A and get out.  I did make good grades, but, primarily because of the attitude, I never really “got it.”  We would read these plays or books and then have to talk about themes and foreshadowing and imagery.  There was some story where a dude woke up as a cockroach and we were supposed to talk about the symbolism.  “Don’t know, don’t care.  Just tell me and I will gladly repeat it back to you on the test.”

I came to believe that I just didn’t know how to do it and that I wasn’t capable.  In college in my one obligatory English class, we were to read books and write a paper on them.  I asked the professor what we were supposed to do.  He said, “read the book, come up with a theory and prove it.”  I thought in response, “What?”  I did not do well in his class.

Then one day, after my 10th or so viewing of Braveheart, it all kind of came to me–the theme of the movie, symbolism, etc.  Now I see it in movies all the time. (I mean not movies like Con Air, but you know movies with a point.)  Now amazingly, I can analyze books as well, and simultaneously discovered that my problem had been attitude (Isn’t it always?).

It’s that same “Can’t Do” attitude that follows most of us to reading and understanding the Bible.  “OK,  I read a passage in the Bible, which means my eyes went over all the words on the page, so what?  What am I supposed to learn? What am I supposed to think? What’s supposed to happen?  Or is nothing supposed to happen–I just do it and say I did it?”

There are two ways of approaching the Bible (Obviously there are more.  We will focus on 2), and I would like to suggest that they are intertwined.  The two ways are literary and spiritual.  The spiritual approach is to pray before you read and ask God to show you something, to teach you, encourage you, change you, etc.  You then read it and expect God to do just that.

However, it can be difficult for that to happen if you really don’t know what you’re reading or how to read it.  This is why even the most spiritual people can get discouraged reading the Bible or well-intentioned people can misinterpret the Bible and/or misapply it.  So let’s talk about what to be looking for as you read it, understanding that what God does in your life is the most important part.

Is it possible to sum up the Bible in 3 sentences? Sure, if they are complex sentences.

The Bible is the story of God who created the universe for his pleasure and created people to be in fellowship with him.  These people rebelled against God, and the God that created them and loves them wants to redeem them and restore fellowship with them.  This is accomplished ultimately through sending his Son, Jesus to die on our behalf.

“Break that down for me please.”

1) The story is about God not us.

2) We were created to be in relationship with him not so that we could do whatever we wanted

3) We have rebelled against the God that created us.

4) God is pursuing a relationship with all people.

5) This is being done now through His Son, Jesus.

So when reading, there are a few questions you can ask yourself.  Writing down the answers can be helpful.

What do I learn about God?

What do I learn about the nature of people?

How is God trying to reconcile people?

How are people who have relationships with God supposed to feel/think/act?

Old Testament: Does any of this point to/foreshadow Jesus?  New Testament: What do I learn about Jesus and his sacrifice for us?

Every passage that you read will deal with one or more of these themes/questions.  Take down notes on anything you notice.  There is no insight too simple.  As with most things, practice will make you better.  When you combine these kinds of insights with God working in your heart, you will notice tremendous spiritual benefits and God changing your life.

Soon you’ll be a regular scholar noticing all sorts of great insights into yourself, God, sin, people, etc.  You’ll be a literary genius.  (Did I mention Braveheart really is the story of Robert the Bruce? Ask me later.)

Understanding the Bible #1–Where to Start

A friend asked me recently a very important question.  They were wanting to introduce their children to the Star Wars movies–a noble goal indeed. They asked, “Where should we start?  Should we start with Episode IV since it was released first or start with Episode I and take them in chronological order?”  A deep and significant question.  I hope I didn’t minimize the significance of the question by how quickly I answered.

The answer, quickly given, was that they should watch them in order of release date.  This is the story of Darth Vader, although you would be inclined to think that it was about Luke.  Vader is the most evil movie villain, evah (read more here).  Then he turns out to be the hero’s dad and then, well you know.  Empire Strikes Back has perhaps the best plot twist of all time, with all due respect to Keyser Sose, dead therapists and Rosebud (Boom! Dated reference!).  You lose that plot twist by watching the 1,2,3, first and it’s harder to care about what’s going on in 1,2,3 if you don’t know who Annakin/Vader is.

A similar and, shall we say, more important question is where do I start reading the Bible.  In part there are two lines of thought that, ironically are the same as the Star Wars question.  Some say start at the beginning and read chronologically.  Others say start with Jesus, the centerpiece of the big picture story of the Bible.  If you are not a Christian and want to understand the story of the Bible, I would start with Jesus.  The best place to do that is the Gospel of John.  That is the fourth book of the New Testament.  Gospel means “good news” and in the Bible has become a title for four different semi-biographies of Jesus.  (I say semi because that is not their primary purpose.  Talking about Jesus’s ministry, death and resurrection are their main goals.  3 years out of the life of a man who lived approximately 33 years).  The Gospel of John was written specifically to focus on the stories and sayings of Jesus that deal with people coming to faith.  So it is a great book for non-believers and new believers.

If you are a believer and know the story of Jesus, I’d suggest a more chronological approach–start at the beginning.  What I am going to outline here is starting with the books that tell the story of the Bible, the history books.  In future posts, we will break down the big picture story into sections and place all of the books into one of those sections.  For now, we will put together an approach to reading the Bible that will give you the big idea.

Genesis (Creation, Noah, Tower of Babel, Abraham-Isaac-Jacob/Esau-12 sons, most notably Joseph)

Exodus (Jews are slaves, God raises up Moses to free them and take them to a promised land)

Leviticus/Numbers (Warning! Can be tedious.  Lots of rules, lots of repetition. Story gets bogged down. Can be difficult to read.  Hang in there.  Jews headed to promised land, receive God’s law, rebel, are punished and have to wander around)

Deuteronomy (Don’t read the whole thing.  They are back to the promised land.  Moses giving them the law again.  Read Chapters 1-2 and then skip to Chapter 29 to the end)

Joshua (Taking the land, establishing themselves)

Judges (Living in the land…poorly)

I & II Samuel (God ruling the Jews through prophets, but they want a king, God gives them a king.  It doesn’t go well.  1st 3–Saul, David, Solomon)

I & II Kings (Note, these books are essentially repeated in I & II Chronicles but from a different perspective. Over simplification, but just read one pair for now. The kingdom is split into two, Israel (north) Judah (south).  It’s still not going well. It ends with both nations being conquered and exiled.)

Ezra and Nehemiah (The people are coming back from exile to rebuild Israel.)

Gospel of Luke (Jesus comes to Israel to restore the people and to die as a sacrifice for the sins of the whole world.)

Acts (The story of Jesus’s disciples who take his message to the world.)

We have left out some great books and great stories and great poetry, basically a lot of cool stuff that you absolutely should go back and read.  But once you understand the big story, the question of where and how do these other books fit will make more sense.

How much should I read?  That’s a great question.  However, it’s one we rarely ask in any other context.  “Hey, I checked out a novel from the library.  How much do you think I should read at a time?”  “Well, I don’t know.  Until you want to stop and then pick it up when you’re ready to read again?”  How about just read the Bible?  When your eyes/mind start to glaze stop.  When you pick it back up the next day (Reading the Bible every day is a great thing), review what you have read, remind yourself of where you are in the story and read some more.

I understand that the Bible can be challenging to read.  Understanding the story can be difficult and make take some time. You may only be able to read in small chunks.  I get that. This is a guy who doesn’t like blog posts to be more than 900 words, so I need

Understanding the Bible (Preview)

On occasion, I have been known to do a little math tutoring. Not only do I have two young scholars in my house, but also I’ll help random people in the church and such. What I’ve noticed is that most, if not all, people who say that they are struggling with math, know a lot more math than what they believe they do. Their problem is not comprehending the problem or doing the work. Their problem is what I will call math anxiety.

It’s similar to test anxiety and it certainly manifests itself during the tests. Math anxiety is when someone who is not naturally gifted in math or doesn’t like math declares, “Math is impossible,” “Math is stupid” or my favorite “Math doesn’t make sense.” I love it. The problem can in no way be me. The problem is math. Math is wrong. If math were right, then I would easily get it. Raise your hand if you’ve thought that. (Looking) Hey, everyone in my house just raised their hand. (I’m questioning if math acumen is genetic, or perhaps math-hating is the dominant gene. Looking at you HLoften).

I believe that we also struggle with Bible Anxiety. We have been convinced or have convinced ourselves that the Bible is impossible to understand. “I’ve tried reading it, and I just don’t get it.” “The Bible just doesn’t make sense.” I think pastors over the years have contributed to the problem. While on the one hand we say that you should read and study the Bible on your own, on the other we make it seem like you have to be a trained scholar with a working knowledge of Greek and Hebrew to truly understand it.

“Well, you make think this verse says blah, blah, blah, but that that Greek verb is an intransitive pluperfect gerund, and what it really means is wah, wah, wah.” While many of these scholarly insights are helpful, often there can be the unintended consequence of making reg’lar folk believe that they aren’t smart enough to understand the Bible. If cloften.com were a blog for pastors, there would already be a post entitled “Tone Down the Scholarly Rhetoric, Einstein.”

This is the beginning of a new blog series on understanding the Bible and before we really get started, I want to first say, “You can do it.” You on your own, with a pen, piece of paper, Bible and occasionally a dictionary, can understand the Bible. If you sat down and just read the Bible, you could get the basic idea 90+% of the time.

All you have to do is use basic reading comprehension. Things like understanding the subject, verb, descriptive words, if/then, cause/effect, etc. You’ll notice if there are ever sentences that are just fragments (See previous sentence), and there won’t be. You’ll ask yourself what is the point the author is trying to make, just like when you read the newspaper (Ha, ha, ha. He just said newspaper. He might as well have said papyrus). You’ll connect with characters and find the morals in stories, just like when you read novels, you know on your Kindle (Trying to reclaim cool points). Context will tell you the definition of words you don’t know or you will look them up in the dictionary, just like you always do when you read.

“Wait, wait, wait. Cloften this is the Bible. Bible is hard. The rules are different for the Bible. You can’t just read the Bible.” Right and wrong. (Another sentence fragment). You are right in that the content is more weighty and the source of the content is God. It is more important that you understand the concepts of grace and salvation, than whether or not you are Team Edward or Team Jacob (At least it should be).

However, it is still a book, a book with words, English words, English words you know, put together in sentences that you can understand. There will be parts you don’t understand immediately. Write down your questions and read some more. Some questions will be answered in the next passage. Others can be answered by friends when you get together and talk about it. (In a small group or Sunday School. It’s like a book club, but, you know, with the Bible.)

I’m not saying that it is as simple as “believe in yourself and go for it.” That’s why this will likely be a 20 part series. We need to understand what the major themes of the Bible are, how it fits chronologically, how the different books of the Bible relate to each other, understand the different genres, etc.  These are things that help us understand the Bible better.  These are not things that we must grasp perfectly before we should even start reading.

However, the biggest issue we have is confidence.  “I believe that God wants me to understand his word, and I am smart enough to read a book and understand it.”  You really can do it. I mean, it’s not calculus.

The 9 Commandments and That Other One

I almost entitled this “The 10th Commandment*” and then I would explain the asterisk.  However, I know how you are.  “Don’t covet is the 10th commandment.  That’s not what you’re talking about.” Then I would have explained the asterisk.  You would have objected again that it wasn’t clear.  It just wasn’t worth it.  “This was?”  Hmmm…

Two passages for your consideration:

Exodus 20:8-11

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. ¹¹ For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Col 2:16

¹⁶ Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.

So there you go.  Honor the Sabbath is right there in the top 10, #4 to be specific.  Then you have Colossians where some false teachers have emphasized the ceremonial parts of Jewish law and Paul says don’t let people judge you based on these.  You put this together with the idea that Jesus fulfilled the law, we are not under the law and the 10 commandments become 9 + 1.

(Sidenote:  You want to waste some time? “Of course, I do.”  Top 2 Bible related things to Google and read some weird stuff:  Sabbath and King James Bible.  I take it back.  Don’t do it.)

Is this the right approach?  Is there nothing in between strict observance of the Jewish Sabbath (Please tell me you didn’t read that stuff) and ignoring it completely?  Surely there is.  Surely.

God still believes sin is serious, even though we do not sacrifice animals.  We trust in Christ.  God still wants us to be his people set apart, but we don’t follow the dress codes and dietary codes.  We strive to live lives with pure hearts.  God still values worship, but we don’t celebrate the Jewish feasts.  We worship God in community and throughout the week.  God still values rest, but we don’t celebrate the Sabbath.  We…we…what do we do?

That’s the rub isn’t it.  We think this one doesn’t matter at all any more.  It’s one thing to say that we are not bound by the rules.  It’s another thing entirely to say that God’s value system has changed.  “God doesn’t even care about that any more.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.”  From the very beginning it would seem that God is honored when we rest.  We were created to rest.  We were created to take time and reflect on him and stop the madness of a pace of life that is spiritually, physically and emotionally unsustainable.

“Fine then, how?”  Welpst, we struggle when there aren’t rules, don’t we?  This isn’t a rule.  This is a principle.  You will have to figure that out through prayer, reflection and with your family.  The how is up to you.

Wait, Ok, I’ve changed my mind.  I’ll tell you exactly how to do it.  Oops, I can’t.  I’ve got to get to a meeting and then to unpack some boxes in the new office and then hurry home to get on the treadmill, eat some dinner and get the kids to play practice.  Maybe later…

Thoughts?

Well, But It’s True!

The title of this post is one of my least favorite expressions that gets uttered at the Loften home. (Is “utter” an upgrade over the more common and accurate word “said?”  You bet it is!  Why?  I don’t know.)  Here is the context:  someone says something ugly to someone else.  Dad confronts the ugly-talker.  The response, “Well, but it’s true.”

99 times out of 100 (yes it probably has happened that often.  Not really…maybe…we’ll say 24 out of 25) the rebuke-worthy statement is true.  “Just because something is true, doesn’t mean it should be said,”  says the dad channelling TV sitcom dads.  Depending on the person you are saying this to, dad can get a look that suggests that their brain has just shut down (in the same way it would freeze your calculator when you would divide by zero.  Nothing to do but hit the AC button.  The C button simply can’t fix this problem.).

“Truth-tellers” is my name for these people.  Some like to call them people with the spiritual gift of prophecy or exhortation.

Question: When did not having any tact become a spiritual gift?

Let’s chase that rabbit.  Prophets did speak unpleasant truths.  However, it was at God’s direction, not at their own discretion.  Exhortation is encouraging someone to take right action.  If your words crush someone’s soul and demoralize them, then you have done something, but you have not exhorted anyone.  Let’s call it the gift of “getting something off your chest but framing it in a spiritual context, so if it has a bad result we can blame God or our nature.”

(Rabbit on the ropes now)  You can identify a spiritual gift not by whether or not the person “does it” or even “enjoys it.”  It is identified by whether or not the proper response or effect happens (Nerd).  You can be a teacher and enjoy teaching.  However, you can only have the gift if there is, in fact, learning going on.  There are lots of people out there claiming to be gifted teachers, but no one seems to have the corresponding gift of listening to them.  There are also lots of “leaders” hanging out by themselves.  There are also a lot of exhorters walking through a pile of bodies they have kicked to the curb.

(Good-bye rabbit)

The question is does everything that you think that is true need to be said? If so, does context matter?  When will I say it? Will it be publicly, semi-privately or privately?  What tone will I use?

Even bigger, why would I say it?

BAD

“It needs to be said”

“I need to get it off my chest.”

“Somebody needs to take them down a notch.”

“It’ll make me feel better.”

“What do you mean reason? It’s true”

GOOD

“Because I believe saying it, in this way, at this time, in this place has a great chance of helping the person become better, and because I love them.”

There are a lot of pastors out there that don’t have a filter beyond, “is it true?” and there are plenty of (well-meaning?) friends and family member that lack that filter as well.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

There are things that are true that aren’t pure or lovely or admirable.  Let’s dwell and think and say those things that are all of these.

Excellence in Ministry

Me and el staff team are reading a book about church, leadership, focus on lost people, etc.  That’s right. We read books.  This will be the 4th book we’ve read together as a staff in the last 8 months.  We read sections and discuss them each week at staff meeting.

Today we ended up talking about “excellence.”  That is a leadership buzzword at least in church circles.  Simply put, you want what you do at your church to be done very well.  You want the music at your church, whatever the style, to be done well–excellent.  It is the same with your teaching, you want it to be excellent.  The same goes for small groups/Sunday school or children’s and youth ministries.  If you are going to do it, do it with excellence.

This isn’t about style. This is about whatever your style, you do it excellently.

Here is the question(s): Does that strike you as secular or unspiritual?  Does that kind of talk belong in talking about church or ministry?  Do such things matter?

If you object, what I want you to suggest is the alternative.  Instead of being excellent, ministries should  _________.  There are lots of things you could put in that blank, for example, “love Jesus,” “be focused on people,” or “provide snacks.”  However, all of those, especially snacks, can go hand in hand with excellence.

Do you think it is important, but overemphasized? Underemphasized?  What do you expect or anticipate from the church that you attend?

Someone recently said that commenting on blogs is “over.”  If it is, then this will have been a waste of time, but then I’ll know.  I really do want to know what you think.  So, let’s discuss.

Ohio State, Honesty, and, of course, a Parenting Tie-in

If you are looking for a rant about how evil Ohio St. is and how the Razorbacks got hosed by having to play this group of cheaters in the Sugar Bowl, you will have to look elsewhere.  Perhaps you should try fakecloften.com or evilcloften.info or whatcloftenreallythings.biz (Seriously, isn’t .biz uber-classy?)  This will be an attempt at something a little more thoughtful than that.  However, I’m sure you can google Razorback message boards or Michigan Wolverine message boards and get plenty of that.

I would think that most of us can agree that in the big picture of things, selling memorabilia in exchange for tattoos is not a big deal.  I would go so far as to say that a car dealership giving discounts to Ohio St. football players isn’t a huge deal.  “But Cloften, it’s against the rule.  The rules! The rules!!!!!!”  Agreed, those are violations of the NCAA rules for athletes and every school knows this and every player knows it as well.  Those are violations that call for punishments of some kind.

However, these are not the violations that finished off Ohio St. and brought hope to Michigan fans everywhere and a twisted sense of vindication for Razorback fans.  (”Yeah, see. They were cheaters.  We should have won that game.  We would have if those cheaters hadn’t been out there.”  Let’s agree on this: we should have won the game, by playing better.)  What ultimately brought down Jim Tressel was lying about it.  The coverup, the lying about the coverup, and the coverup of the lying about the coverup are what were considered unacceptable by the University, the NCAA and every sports fan.  What I mean by “every sports fan” is all sports fans except for those who would consider the beating of Michigan literally the most important thing that can happen in a year.

Had he simply told his compliance director and athletic director, this would have played out differently.  Maybe he knew the problem was so deep, that it was “better” to keep lying, because if everything was exposed, he would be in even more trouble.  He felt that his only hope was to try and convince the world of a lie that ultimately he knew wouldn’t last.

Do you know what this reminds me of?  “Yes, we do.  It’s what everything reminds you of–your kids.”  Hmm, I suppose I am predictable.  This is what my kids do.  They are caught doing something, but with minimal evidence.  Then they tell a preposterous story, and they will defend that story until it completely falls apart.  This makes Dad quite angry.  There are times when the offense is so small that had they said, “Sorry, Dad,” that would have been it.  “Thank you. Please don’t do it again.”  However, when you add lying to the list of offenses, now there has to be some punishment.  Lying always makes it worse.  Always.  Covering it up always makes it worse.  Always.  Maybe not immediately, but it catches up with you.

Do you know what this reminds me of? “Yes, we do. You are very predictable.  It reminds you of all of us.”  No need to be harsh; maybe you should just start writing these yourself.  I know that none of us like to admit to being wrong.  Well if that’s true, then just admit it quickly.  Wait, what?  Think about it.  You are only having to admit being wrong once.  If you lie, then you will ultimately have more things to confess.

Dishonesty really does rot us from the inside  It begins to eat away at us slowly.  We are never better off after the lie, even if we’ve “gotten away with it.”  You never get away with it.  (Christian cliche alert) God knows, His Spirit inside you knows, you know.  We only make it worse when we add deception.

So whether you are trying to get away with yelling at your sister, a bad habit you want to hide from your wife, or maintain the integrity of THE Ohio State University, don’t do it.  Don’t lie.  Confess, take your lumps and move on. There is freedom there.

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