Your Kids Won’t Become Something Your Not

We are in Branson at “The City” last weekend (that’s what regulars such as us call Silver Dollar City. You can only use it if you go at least 10 times a year.  “Wait? Do you go 10 times a year?”  Yes, is that weird? “…” Yes and we know all the words to the dialogue at Fire in the Hole and Powderkeg.  Is that weird? “…”  #LongestParentheticalRamble to date).

It was Worldfest which is a festival where different shows/acts/performers from different countries come and put on shows in the various small theaters scattered throughout the City.  We are watching one (I won’t say which one, because my Mom really liked it) and the two kids were with me start leaning over and making snide comments, cheering in mildly facetious ways, etc.  As always, the rhetorical question comes up, “Where did they learn to be like this?”

I will answer the rhetorical question for you, which by definition, makes it not a rhetorical question.  Their whole lives they have been listening to their two parents watch various reality shows, newscasts, live Branson shows like they were Statler and Waldorf (Boom! Dated reference!)

This is what happens at their house quite often, and occasionally leaks onto social media.  We make fun of things that we find to be cheesy or over the top–generally things that are entertaining in ways that they didn’t intend.

While this is a somewhat humorous example, it leads to a more serious issue.  Our kids are becoming what they see.  They are becoming their parents, and there really aren’t any other options than that.

“But Cloften, my kid is smarter than me, plays the piano, is good at sports.  Neither one of us were like that.”  Sure, they can have different interests, skills and hobbies.  They can even be better at certain activities than you.  However, they will not have better character.

Have you ever yelled at your kid about them yelling at someone else?  Have you ever overreacted in anger to them overreacting in anger?  Have you ever had a rough night’s sleep worrying about the fact that your kid has a lot of anxiety at school?

They are watching and learning.  They are taking their cues about how to talk to other people based on the way you talk to their mother/father even if you aren’t married.  They are taking their cues based on how you talk to them, on the way you handle adversity and the relationships they see that you have.

Do you want them to stop fighting? Stop fighting with your spouse.  Do you want them to not be angry?  Stop getting angry with them.  Are “shut up” and “crap” bad words?  Don’t use them, even when you think they aren’t listening.  Do you want them to conduct themselves in a sophisticated manner at a Branson show?  Don’t…you get the idea.

One of the keys to having kids with good character is to become a person of character yourself.

One final piece of advice.  If you are ever the primary performer at a Branson show and you say, “Feel free to cheer and whoop however you feel.  Be as loud as you like,” watch out.  We might be there and do just that.