Advice for Villains

March 10, 2010 by cloften  
Filed under General Insanity, Silliness and Rants

I have a new list going in my head.  Don’t know if I have 10 yet, and typically you guys have some great ideas, so help me out.

What advice would you give to movie/tv villains?  The most obvious one is just kill the hero when you capture him.  Don’t monologue.  Nothing elaborate.  Just do it.

What else you got?


5 Responses to “Advice for Villains”
  1. Ze Dave says:

    Go to the Smart Cronies Store (SCS) and quit getting the dumb lackeys. An evil villian is only as good as his team. And there is no “dumb” in team.

  2. matt says:

    Maybe hire henchmen that don’t stick out in the crowd. Most of them my kids could pick out as a bad guy, which makes them too easy to track. Sometimes they lead the hero straight to the “secret” hideout.

  3. Judy Best says:

    Stop bragging about what you’re going to do, just make a plan and implement it without all the dialogue.

  4. Megan says:

    Lose the accent. The “furiners” always stick out (a la Die Hard 1 & 2)

    Don’t use a hot woman to do your dirty work. She will always fall in love with the handsome hero and switch sides before your evil plot has been implemented.

    If you insist on using a hot woman, don’t be ugly and/or don’t have a gimmicky name and costume. At least give yourself a fighting chance with the aforementioned hot woman.

    When you build a bomb, maybe don’t make it so easy to diffuse. The red wire, the blue wire, why is there any ONE wire that could be cut and make the whole thing stop functioning? Oh, and enough with the timers already; you’re showing your entire hand with that one. Ever hear of the element of surprise?

  5. Joe says:

    For the love….watch your feet! Before landing the soul satisfying coup de grace, please take a moment to look around. Are you standing in a puddle with a live electrical wire nearby? On a highrise construction site? Please check to ensure you have no cable or looping wires around your feet. Your evil progeny will thank you for it.

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