Don’t Lie. We Can Tell.

One of my first posts on here was about the show Lie to Me, which is really cool (the show, not the post).  The post itself was really more filler that I wanted to have on there for when we launched publicly.  You could read it here, but don’t.

Anywho, this morning in our men’s leadership study, we were talking about having friends that can call us up and make us better, not buddies that always agree with us and don’t genuinely help us.  We need to have friends that we can be honest with and we can tell them that we are not doing well when in fact we are not doing well. 

I told them that if someone asks you how you are, you should only say good if you are good.  I also told them that I know when you’re lying from watching the show Lie to Me.  I am certainly no expert, but I am learning to read people better.  Here is what we do.  First, we make this face:

Or you can scrunch your nose and/or raise an eyebrow.
Or you can scrunch your nose and/or raise an eyebrow.

Then we say with a high pitched voice, “good, I’m good.”  Wrong, that is a lie.  Some of us will go to the next tell of touching/rubbing the face or fidgeting with our hair.  Again, lie.

I said all of that this morning in part to be funny, but there was an unintended consequence.  When we broke up into small groups, guys didn’t know how to answer each other’s questions.  All we know sometimes is to scrunch our face and squeak out a good.  When asked how work is we have to rub our face and show stress before we lie and say that we are “fine.” 
I now pass this on to you.  Hopefully, now you will be aware of your own “tells” that expose your dishonesty.  This perhaps can encourage you to trust your friends more, go deeper in your relationships, and tell the truth about how we feel.  We need each other to make it, but to do that we need each other to be honest.

Lie to Me

November 23, 2009 by cloften  
Filed under General Insanity, Silliness and Rants

Lie to Me is the best show on TV that you are probably not watching.  It is a show about a group of deception experts that get hired to solve various cases where they are trying to determine who’s lying and why.  It is clever, smart and funny and Tim Roth is great.

Anyway, the downside to this show is that you start using what you’re learning.  They talk about ways that people mask lies and then you’re hanging out with your friends and you see them do some of those things.  (If you start watching the show, this is your warning.  Do not use your new knowledge on your friends and family)  The classic one that people use all the time is this one.  You ask them a yes/no question and they want the answer to be yes, but really they are thinking no.  For example, “how was your visit with your family last week?”  They then make this face:

Lying face

Then they start nodding their head and in high pitch voice, they say, “good. . . It was good.”

I just want you to know that if you pull that on me, I know you’re lying.  I won’t necessarily call you out.  It depends on how well I know you.  You need to practice not making that face and going with the high pitch voice.  It’s a dead give away.

Again, I don’t mean to use this on you, but I just can’t help it.  Lie to Me:  It’s fun and educational.