Who Is Asking You Tough Questions?

October 21, 2010 by cloften  
Filed under Family and Parenting

I am about to go head to week 2 of a group of men, accidentally named Men of the North.  That was the title of an email I sent to all the men of the church, specifically directed to guys that work in the northern part of NWA.  You know, those fancy guys that work at Wal-Mart and J.B. Hunt.  If that is you, and somehow the invite has missed you, holla at me and I’ll get you the details.

The first week, devolved into a pretty good conversation about Pro Wrestling, sorry ‘rasslin.’  That’s what happens if you get a group of guys together, sports talk and insane ramblings.  We like it, that’s what we do.  Unless we go and do something, like play golf or go to a game for several hours.  Then, we don’t talk at all.  Then your wife asks, “What did you guys talk about?”  “Nothing.”  “What? You were together for 4 hours?”  “Yeah, and?”  Then she gives you the look.  I do not have to describe it.  You know the look.

Anyway, we don’t want this to be a group of guys that devolves into just talking about “fun stuff”  (Keyword: just)  We want to also be a group of men that are encouraging each other to be better.  We want to talk about the challenges that we face, problems we’re having and celebrating victories.  You know, something deeper than, “How was I supposed to take the American Dream Dusty Rhodes seriously when he was so fat?”

So here is the question.  Is there anyone in your life asking you tough questions?  Do you have anyone that you know, trust and love enough that they are helping you get better?  Or are you someone who is suffering and struggling alone, sinning in secret and hurting in private?

If so, find a group of people, or one close friend that can help you, someone who is not afraid to ask you tough questions and help you when you’re not doing well.  Tip:  Pick someone that you wouldn’t lie to.  You would lie to your spouse about struggling in some areas, you would lie to your boss in others.  Bonus Tip:  Pick someone, though, that you would be embarrassed a little to tell the truth to, not some buddy that would laugh along with you.  Pick someone that being around them makes you want to be better.

Then you will be a great team, like the Road Warriors or the Rock ‘n Roll Express.


4 Responses to “Who Is Asking You Tough Questions?”
  1. Aaron Reddin says:

    Ugh…I always hate this question. You know why.

    You know the only thing I like about this post? This:

    “How was I supposed to take the American Dream Dusty Rhodes seriously when we was so fat?”

  2. Cyndi Williams says:

    So, you know I have had a neck issue for 3 weeks now and it’s really frustrating because I haven’t been able to work, drive or do much around the house. One of the youth I work with texted me after seeing all my facebook updates about it and asked “How are you finding the joy in the situation?”. She knew I was finding NO joy in it. Her question reminded me that there is some and I needed to look for it. While being out of work for neck pain and vacation are far different things, I realized it was some much needed rest for body, mind and soul…and I got caught up on some homework. She had talked to me the week before about not having time for youth group because she had too much homework. I said “Do you really think if you spend 2 hours at youth group that God won’t help you get your homework in on time?!” I was joking, but ironically he did just that for me the next week.

    I love those friends who ask tough questions. I used to have a pastor friend who would do that, but he moved to NWA…gosh I miss him! :)

  3. Jules Rusinowski says:

    Hey Charlie,
    This is a tough one for men. We don’t want to share our weaknesses. About 13 years ago, when we lived in So. California, I had 2 guys whom I got together with a couple times per month and we asked these tough questions. We called them “integrity groups” I think. We also got together with a larger group of men once or twice a month too. This was a great time in my life, where I was growing closer to the Lord everyday.
    Since moving to Arkansas, I have tried to find some guys like this, but have not been successful. I thought I was close once or twice, but have found so far, either we were just superficial or I was judged by these so called friends.
    We are now praying to move to NWA for many reasons. When the Lord opens up the door, maybe I can find someone like you, who is interested in this stuff.

  4. Jennifer Loftin says:

    I could “amen” Jules that these “close knit groups” are tough to find. I opened up to a church staff person about some areas of struggle and was very judged a year ago.

    Fortunately, I found a growth group at my current church that is godly, very good at non-judgement, safe but spurs me on through prayer, scripture and hugs. I do think it is wise to go into accountability relationships cautiously and really get to know folks before saying too much. That said, if you find a good group that can speak truth in love, wow! then you have found something worth more than gold.

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